Fear of Holding People Accountable
From Tom Bandy
I do a lot of coaching, and one of the emerging themes is that clergy afraid to hold people accountable to mission. Often this fear is rooted in their own personal family history, where childhood experiences have made “accountability” a matter of retribution rather than redemption. Seminary training often ignored or failed to change that perception. Clergy cannot differentiate “accountability” and “confrontation” … and fear people will stop liking them. I’ve been brooding about this pattern.
So how to eliminate the “fear of holding people accountable”? I find that clergy need to take a much deeper look at how their personal family backgrounds influence their leadership habits. Next, they need to redevelop boundaries with their staff and volunteer leaders so that all can differentiate between “therapeutic” interaction and “missional direction”. Family church leaders are very “therapeutic” in their relationships, but as the church grows they must become more “missional” in their leadership development. Finally, clergy need to learn how to begin with mentoring mission alignment and spiritual discipline, and then talk about skills development. Otherwise, staff and volunteer leaders simply think clergy are accusing them of incompetence, or breaking off a friendship, and become defensive. Set in the right context, and with the right boundaries, accountability becomes “redemptive.”
TGB
Currently in Toronto